Quiet people have the loudest minds…


Quiet People Are Smarter/Deeper Than You.
Obviously, this one is put forth by some quiet people themselves, in a sort of overdefensive backlash against being treated like the weird, abnormal ones. History has always shown that the most sensible way to fix discrimination against one group is to turn around and discriminate against the other group instead. What’s the old saying? Two wrongs make a right? You see that kind of attitude in articles like this one, where the author talks about how introverts are “more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts,” and how extroverts’ conversation is “98-percent-content-free talk.” Or take this blog, which suggests you “feel bad for extraverts or as I like to call them: the life-disadvantaged.” It’s normal to be kind of resentful when you’re misunderstood, and it’s normal to feel like the universe should make it up to you by giving you some kind of positive trait to make up for it. I’m not sure if I should blame comic books for the common narrative of “everyone always treated me like I was weird and different but it turns out this weirdness is actually because I have special powers that make me better than them,” but it seems like everyone wants to play that card these days. Marvel Directory The X-Men are actually not as good a metaphor for real life as you would think. The same arguments we’re always making about how this or that trait of an introvert or quiet person isn’t wrong, just different, applies in reverse to extroverts. Maybe introverts don’t understand why extroverts need to talk so much or why they need so many friends and social events, but that’s not wrong either, it’s just different. You know, like Apple products. I don’t buy that introverts are necessarily smarter, either. I’ve met a ton of quiet, introverted people that were dumb as bricks. I do think it’s a lot easier to look smart when you don’t talk as much, because of that whole kung fu master vibe, and because anything stupid you think is less likely to come out of your mouth. On the other hand, I think there’s some virtue in being willing to take risks and say things that might be wrong, as long as you’re brave enough to fess up to and correct your mistake afterward. Basically, nobody’s wrong, except for people who aren’t willing to accept the other group of people they don’t understand.

an extroverts idea of a gathering of friends

An extrovert’s intimate gathering of a few close friends. One common definition of the introvert/extrovert divide is that extroverts gain energy from being around people, whereas introverts spend energy when hanging around people.

‘Keep silent, and you will never regret it. Speak, and you often will.’

‘When you cannot praise, and there is no need to speak, keep quiet!’



Eric Berne – transactional analysis and his personal life


Transactional Analysis (TA) was an empirical approach to transactions in a conversational exchange, with the aim of equipping participants with the means to identify and avoid conversations that defeated the aims of one or both participants, which Berne called “games”. It was based on a Human view of the self and a behaviorist view of conditioning.


In the 1950’s Eric Berne began to develop his theories of Transactional Analysis. He said that verbal communication, particularly face to face, is at the centre of human social relationships and psychoanalysis.

His starting-point was that when two people encounter each other, one of them will speak to the other. This he called the Transaction Stimulus. The reaction from the other person he called the Transaction Response.

The person sending the Stimulus is called the Agent. The person who responds is called the Respondent.

Transactional Analysis became the method of examining the transaction wherein: ‘I do something to you, and you do something back’.

Berne also said that each person is made up of three alter ego states:




These terms have different definitions than in normal language.


This is our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed conditioning, learning and attitudes from when we were young. We were conditioned by our real parents, teachers, older people, next door neighbours, aunts and uncles, Father Christmas and Jack Frost. Our Parent is made up of a huge number of hidden and overt recorded playbacks. Typically embodied by phrases and attitudes starting with ‘how to’, ‘under no circumstances’, ‘always’ and ‘never forget’, ‘don’t lie, cheat, steal’, etc, etc. Our parent is formed by external events and influences upon us as we grow through early childhood. We can change it, but this is easier said than done.


Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form the ‘Child’. This is the seeing, hearing, feeling, and emotional body of data within each of us. When anger or despair dominates reason, the Child is in control. Like our Parent we can change it, but it is no easier.


Our ‘Adult’ is our ability to think and determine action for ourselves, based on received data. The adult in us begins to form at around ten months old, and is the means by which we keep our Parent and Child under control. If we are to change our Parent or Child we must do so through our adult.

In other words:

  • Parent is our ‘Taught’ concept of life
  • Adult is our ‘Thought’ concept of life
  • Child is our ‘Felt’ concept of life




A commentary by ‘Osho’ on a part of Buddha’s teachings using PAC transactional analysis as a means of explaining the ordinary human condition.
‘The Buddha Said…’ By Osho, Pg. 42.

Rollo May & Creative use of anxiety


I recently came across an interview with Rollo May on ThinkingAloud.com
I was struck by what seemed to me his fresh approach and interest in creativity. Namely the seemingly opposite view to Eastern philoshophy that creativity comes out of chaos (such as anxiety) as opposed to from a still and calm mind! As someone who is a great admirer of Eastern mystasism and influenced by Toaism, Buddism, Zen etc, I find it very intetesting to have a Western view specifically on creativity but also existence. Rollo May called himself a existential psychiatrist. His idea is that anxiety is a motivator for creative activity. Since humans are the only species aware of their mortality, May argues that it is natural day to day to feel unease.

Why anger is always a waste of your time & energy and alternative approaches to life’s problems!


Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha

“Anger is an Energy.” ~ Johnny Lydon of PiL

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/anger-is-an-energy.html#ixzz2DeRD3W6u

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/anger-is-an-energy.html#ixzz2DeR0kFgx

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/anger-is-an-energy.html#ixzz2DeQiD59S
Wipe Out Waste (WoW) campaign, explores the damage caused by wasted emotions. Discover how you can channel your emotions into more productive outlets.


The only good purpose anger helps you is by making you determined to complete or succeed in an endeavor.

The cause of over thinking


Our minds are over active, dating back from prehistoric times. We need to discipline our minds to calm down, and stop the constant over active and wasteful energy expended on ancient survival instincts.
‘the more you become aware, the more you you stop co-operating with thinking.. feeling is the seed, just sprouting, and thinking is the tree. Things start in the heart and before you become aware, they immediately have reached the head.’



In Zen Buddhism, zazen (literally “seated meditation“) is a meditative discipline practitioners perform to calm the body and the mind, and be able to concentrate enough to experience insight into the nature of existence and thereby gain enlightenment.

The use of chairs in the West is ubiquitous. One of the most important life style changes you could make it to give up the use of chairs. Chairs (et s’asseoir toilets) are good examples of the motto, ‘ short term pleasure attracts long term pain; short term pain attracts long term pleasure. The physical ease a chair provides gradually robs the body of an important part of its natural capability. Over time that brings long term pain. This is easy to see, for example, by comparing older Western people with older Japan people.

The photo above is of an 82 Japanese grandmother. She is more supple than many Western people half (or dare I say 1/4) her age. So, what is so good about being flexible? Oh the list is so long; I’ll spare you. Besides, I think the long term pleasurable benefits are obvious to most. I suppose people just don’t realize in their youth how the use of chairs will greatly exacerbate loss of flexibility.

The benefits of maintaining flexibility, subtle though they may be, add to the quality of life throughout life. So, become more natural and animal like, and throw out your chairs. Take the lower position.

Zazen is considered the heart of Zen Buddhist practice. The aim of zazen is just sitting, “opening the hand of thought”,[2] that is, suspending all judgmental thinking and letting words, ideas, images and thoughts pass by without getting involved in eux.

To sit seiza-style, one first kneels on the floor, folding their legs underneath their thighs, while resting the buttocks on the heels . The ankles are turned outward as the tops of the feet are lowered so that, in a slight “V” shape, the tops of the feet are flat on the floor and big toes are overlapped, and the buttocks are finally lowered tout en bas . Depending on the circumstances, the hands are folded modestly in the lap, ou are placed palm down on the upper thighs with the fingers close together, or are placed on the floor next to the hips, with the knuckles rounded and touching the floor. The back is kept straight, though not unnaturally stiff. Traditionally, women sit with the knees together while men separate them slightly. Some martial arts, notably kendō, aikidō, and iaidō, may prescribe up to two fist widths of distance between the knees.

Stepping into and out of seizais mindfully performed. There are codified traditional methods of entering and exiting the sitting position depending on occasion and type of clothing worn.




… How much do we really know, are we aware of what we are thinking and doing? It’s my guess that the common answer is no, not much at all, if we are honest. Sure, we could say we did this or that for such and such a reason, but dig a little deeper and ask why that reason, and pretty quickly we’d be left with questions unanswered as to why we act the way we each do.
I would like to use this, somewhat unsettling thought, to help actually expand our awareness of why we are what we are. Unlike a ‘control freak’ the aim is not to try and tighten our grasp things but just to be aware and watch events in our daily life unfolds before us.
I guess I could call into these thoughts the idea of ‘Destiny Vs Free Will.’ How much of our lives is predetermined (genetics, upbringing..) and how much of life is subsequently down to our own free will, as such..? With greater experience comes a greater ability to fine tune and affect certain outcomes of our lives, which is very important and useful, yet life is an endless possibility of which we are more controlled by then we are able to consciously control.  However, by increasing our ability to be aware that we part of a larger organism, we can maintain an interesting way of viewing our own decisions, actions and fate.



‘Your consciousness has become too attached, associated, with thinking, so whenever thinking stops you fall into a coma.. the conscious has merged into the unconscious. If the unconscious falls into the conscious and itself becomes conscious, you become enlightened.’

The filmmaker and Turner-Prize-winning artist Steve McQueen is someone who cut a swath through the British art world with his video installations, mainly silent and in black and white, projected on to spaces within galleries; he was only five years out of art school when he won a Turner Prize. And now, with his first two feature films, Hunger and Shame, he has indisputably become one of our most distinctive, compelling film directors.

Hunger , a harrowing, assured account of the last weeks of the IRA hunger striker Bobby Sands, who in 1981 fasted to death in the Maze Prison near Belfast, was the breakthrough film for its lead actor Michael Fassbender, now a global starImage

The setting for his follow-up film, the controversial and sexually explicitShame , could scarcely be more different. Its central character, Brandon (Fassbender again), is a handsome, thirtysomething ad executive in New York who lives alone in a sleek, minimally furnished apartment. But he is a sex addict, and his affliction dominates his whole life. He accesses pornography on the internet and in magazines, hires prostitutes and picks up women in bars for instant sexual gratification that leaves him feeling empty and full of self-disgust. When his wayward, needy sister, a nightclub singer (Carey Mulligan), comes to stay and imposes herself on his life, Brandon’s already shaky equilibrium crumbles.

Says McQueen of his two films,  ‘In Shame, Brandon is an attractive man, he has a good job, he’s well paid, has all the freedoms and all the possibilities you could want. And in this situation he puts himself into a prison. Obviously it’s different from Bobby Sands, who’s incarcerated in a maximum-security prison. Yet within that situation he finds his own freedom. It’s the complete opposite. Both of them use their body to do that. One imprisons himself through sexual activity, while the other frees himself by abstaining from eating.’

In Shame ‘It goes back to the availability of sex. It’s like there’s more fatty food in supermarkets, so people get fat. There’s greater accessibility to alcohol, so guess what? More people get pissed. That’s how it is. Everyone wants to get lost a little bit these days – and understandably so.’

McQueen signature style as a director features long, extended scenes. In Hunger, Fassbender’s Sands and a priest, played by Liam Cunningham, engage in a long debate about the morality of Sands’s hunger strike; for 17 minutes the camera remains static, yet the scene has the ability to keep audiences spellbound.

Such audacious flourishes abound in Shame. In a nightclub, Carey Mulligan sings a slow, bluesy version of the standard New York, New York in its entirety, and the camera stays in close-up on her face for almost the whole duration. In Shame‘s very first scene. Brandon lies in bed, viewed from above, confronting the camera with a dead-eyed stare. His body sprawls horizontally across the top half of the frame; the rest is filled with an expanse of high-priced sheets in a delicate blue, artfully arranged. He is a man alone – with only his demons for company.

‘People go on about those long scenes,’ McQueen says, ‘but it’s not doing something for a trick or gimmick – it’s about doing what’s necessary. Why cut? If you have a close-up and what you’re getting is incredible, stay with it, look at it. It’s about what actually works. The fact is, it’s exciting. There’s film time, and there’s real time. These happenedin real time and that’s exciting. You’re putting an audience in a situation that feels like reality.’

the conflict of the film–we’re given Brandon’s sister, Sissy (Carey Mulligan), who’s everything Brandon’s not. Where Brandon is prosperous, Sissy is homeless (she asks to stay at his apartment for a few days); where Brandon is cautiously self-contained, she is recklessly expressive; where Brandon as played by Fassbender is all hard angles and chiselled muscles. McQueen for a first glimpse of Sissy gives us right off a full frontal view: childlike, with tiny breasts and a slight pudginess developing around the waist. Later Brandon is watching Sissy sing at the nightclub Brandon finds he has shed a teardrop. It’s a crucial moment, a turning point: that drop is possibly the first sign of empathy to be squeezed out of him onscreen.

To complicate matters McQueen adds a strong undercurrent of sexual tension between siblings. Sissy is naturally affectionate; Brandon holds her firmly, and not a little desperately, at arm’s length (he’s like a cokehead asked to safeguard a kilo of cocaine). The tension awakes unknown needs in him–the need, for one, to have a normal relationship with a woman as another person and not some sexual object, not some mere receptacle for his sperm (again, you have this strong sense of foreboding that matters will not end well).

McQueen directs in a series of long takes, framing his characters in a relentless medium shot that on occasion follows them as they move about, but usually sits down patiently to wait for the scene to resolve itself. He repeats shots over and over, of Brandon standing at the subway station like a warrior-knight waiting to ride into battle, or of Brandon pacing naked in his room, a tiger restlessly measuring the limits of his cage. From Mulligan he elicits a minor miracle; where in Nicholas Winding Refn’sDrive (2011) she was a rather dull young mother, here he uses her very same physical immaturity to give the film vulnerability, emotional accessibility, warmth.



No Preference! (Don’t choose!..)


“The Book of Nothing;”


Jianzhi Sengcan, (Japanese: Kanchi Sosan) like Bodhidharma and Huike before him, was reputed to be a devotee and specialist in the study of the Lankavatara Sutra , which taught the elimination of all duality and the “forgetting of words and thoughts”, stressing the contemplation of wisdom.


The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinion for or against. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.

When the deep meaning of things is not understood the mind’s essential peace is disturbed to no avail. The way is perfect like vast space where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess. Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject that we do not see the true nature of things. Live neither in the entanglements of outer things, nor in inner feelings of emptiness. Be serene without striving activity in the oneness of things and such erroneous views will disappear by themselves. When you try to stop activity to achieve passivity your very effort fills you with activity. As long as you remain in one extremeor the other you will never know Oneness. Those who do not live in the single Way fail in both activity and passivity, assertion and denial.

To deny the reality of things is to miss their reality; to assert the emptiness of things is to miss leur réalité. The more you talk and think about it, the further astray you wander from the truth. Stop talking and thinking and il is nothing you will not be able to know.

To return to the root is to find the meaning, but to pursue appearances is to miss the source. At the moment of inner enlightenment there is a going beyond appearance and emptiness. The changes that appear to occur in the empty world we call real only because of our ignorance. Do not search for the truth; only cease to hold opinions. Do not remain in the dualistic state; avoid such pursuits carefully. Ifthere is a trace of this and that, the right and wrong, the Mind-essence will be lost in confusion. Although all dualities come from the One, do not be attached even to this One. When mind exists undisturbed in the Way, nothing in the world can offend, and when a thing can no longer offend it ceases to exist in the old way. When no discriminating thoughts arise, the old mind ceases to exist.

When thought objects vanish, the thinking-subject vanishes, as when the mind vanishes, objects vanish. Things are objects because of the subject; the mind is such because of things. Understand the relativity of these two and the basic reality: the unity of emptiness. In this Emptiness the two are indistinguishable and each contains in itself the whole world. If you do not discriminate between coarse and fine you will no be tempted to prejudice and opinion.

To live in the Great Way is neither easy nor difficult, but those with limited views are fearful and irresolute: the faster they hurry, the slower they go, and clinging cannot be limited: even to be attached to the idea of enlightenment is to go astray. Just let things be in their own way and there will be neither coming nor going. Obey the nature of things (your own nature), and you will walk freely and undisturbed. When thought is in bondage the truth is hidden, for everything is murky and unclear, and the burdensome practice of judging brings annoyance and weariness. What benefit can be derived fromdistinctions and separations? If you wish to move in the One Way do not dislike even the world of senses and ideas. Indeed, to accept them fully is identical with true Enlightenment. The wise man strives for no goals but the foolish man fetters himself. There is one Dharma, truth, law, not many; distinctions arise from the clinging needs of the ignorant. To seek Mind with the discriminating mind is the greatest of all mistakes.

Rest and unrest derive from illusion; with enlightenment there is no liking and disliking. All dualities come from ignorant inference. They are like dreams or flowers in the air; foolish try to grasp them. Gain and loss, right and wrong: such thoughts must finally be abolished at once. If the eye never sleeps, all dreams will naturally cease. If the mind makes no discriminations, the ten thousand things are as they are, of single essence. To understand the mystery of this One-essence is to be released from all entanglements. When all things are seen equally the timeless Self-essence is reached. Nocomparisons or analogies are possible in this causeless, relationless state.

Consider movement stationary and the stationary in motion, and both the state of movement and the state of rest disappear. When such dualities cease to exist Oneness itself cannot exist. To this ultimate finality no law or description applies. For the unified mind in accord with the Way all self-centered striving ceases. Doubts and irresolutions vanish and life in true faith is possible. With a single stroke we are freed from bondage; nothing clings to us and we hold nothing. All is empty, clear, self-illuminating, with no exertion of the mind’s power. Here thought, feeling, knowledge, and imagination are of no value.

In this world of Suchness there is neither self nor other-than-self. To come directly into harmony with this reality just simply say when doubts arise, “Not two.” In this “not two” nothing is separate, nothing is excluded. No matter when or where, enlightenment means entering this truth. And this truth is beyond extension or diminution in time or space; in it a single thought is then thousand years.

Emptiness here, Emptiness there, but the infinite universe stands always before our eyes. Infinitely large and infinitely small; no difference, for definitions have vanished and no boundaries are seen. So too with Being and non-Being. Don’t waste time in doubts and arguments that have nothing to do with this.One thing, all things: move among and intermingle, without distinction. To live in this realization is to be without anxiety about non-perfection. To live in this faith is the road to non-duality, because the non-dual is one with the trusting mind. 
The Way is beyond language, for in it there is 
no yesterday
no tomorrow
no today.